Toddler funnies

Whilst sat at the table eating dinner, The Toddler suddenly stops eating and mumbles 'oh, my phone's ringing....' followed by his small hand rummaging around the waist of his pj's (yes he's having a pj day, so sue me) with a more frantic 'my phone! my phone is ringing!' He then proceeded to answer this imaginary phone, apparently it was Granddad.  I'll be having words with Granddad he should know better then to phone at meal times. tsk tsk.

However, not entirely finished with administering us our daily toddler funnies, he decides he's finished his dinner, gets himself out of his high chair (yes, really) and brazenly goes to stand on The Husbands chair (seeing as The Husband is having 40 winks, yes I did say winks not wanks, in bed) and rummages around in the corner of doom finding a small mirror on a keyring.  Guess what he does next, no seriously, I'd like you to guess.  

He pulls down his pj's and his underpants and using the mirror starts to scrutinise his willy 'My winky....hmmm....mmmm.....My winky okay' then follows this with holding the mirror behind him 'My bum, hmm, my bum okay too' Terribly glad they're both okay and passed his somewhat detailed inspection.  What a novel way of trying to make his family choke to death with laughter at the table.  

I bet you never guessed it. You see the people I have to live with?  Is it any wonder I need prozac?

I suppose I really ought to tear myself away from the laptop seeing as Things 1&2 are outside playing in the ice that is cunningly disguised as snow and The Toddler has commandeered my phone and is frighteningly proficient at navigating himself around it.  Bugger, Thing Two has come in, exactly ten minutes after going out because she's in her words, frozen. No shit Sherlock.  It's not like I didn't tell them it would be bloody cold.