You know you're a mum when.... #2

Following on  from an old post, I bring you 'You know you're a mum when.....#2'

* In order to not share your posh ice cream you tell the children that they can't have any because it's Canadian and only adults can have Canadian things (then consequently ask yourself how  you ever became so desperate that spontaneously making up such nonsense is the norm?)

* The Spawn are playing in the garden and you're tempted to lock them out there (just for five minutes...honest)

* You glance out of the out the bathroom window at your little darlings playing/fighting blisfully an have to fight the urge to throw water at them.

* Your will power is weak.  You throw the water anyway....and laugh.

* You excuse yourself to go to the loo for a shit, the shit bit is important it as ensures no little people will follow you.  You spend 10-20 blissful minutes sat on the closed bog seat messing about on your phone... alone.

* You bar the kids from the kitchen whilst you're cooking when really you're just seeing how much chocolate an biscuits you can stuff into your mouth in the time it takes the oven to heat up without having to share any of it.

* You genuinely consider putting Gin on your weetabix.