You're familiar with the scene, you're talking to your partner or a friend and out of nowhere your child interrupts.  Multiple times.  You try explaining that it's rude or that they need to wait until you've finished talking yet it keeps happening.

The thing is, they're not being rude.  Often they haven't even fully grasped the concept of what rude is in a social setting (other than bad words).  They're not thinking about interrupting you, it's not a premeditated action.  They'll get an idea or thought in their head and they just need to share it, instantly.  They have no idea how long you'll be talking for, when you'll stop or even if you'll stop.  Often they'll mistake a pause for an end and interject.

Nobody said it was easy.

There's a point when blogging publicly where you started out just writing, it was all about the words and then suddenly a door opens to a world of numbers, hungry carnivorous numbers that eat into the words leaving huge gaping gaps, where fingers twitch muted.

Everything is representative of a number to an extent where you're reduced to just that, a number.  The words disappear in protest or perhaps just fear of being devoured.

I've been journalling/blogging online in various guises for around 16 long years and yet this is the first fully public chamber of words that I've possessed, one that isn't just existing under the rocks but rather advertised and plugged.  In effect writing to an audience as well as self.  Before, numbers were meaningless. Although you existed somewhere 'out there' it was happenstance if someone stumbled across you thus you lived within this glorious bubble where as you primarily write for self with the notion that you were discoverable and that somewhere someone could be reading.  The possibility that you were being heard and not just talking into the ether yet the safety net of rarely ever knowing for certain and thus destroying the cobwebs of expectations.  In a nutshell, you didn't give a flying fuck.

Yet, when you go fully public suddenly there's a maelstrom of numbers, stats and rankings.  Everything is a number.  It's page hits, unique visitors, Klout score, Kred score, page rank, domain authority, chart rank and so on.  You push yourself out there and thus make yourself vulnerable and end up tossed within the tide of popularity.  You're not special nor unique.  Regardless of whether you're being purposefully witty or else emptying your soul, you're just a number.  You could write complete drivel, awesome thought provoking content or just be in it for the freebies and it's still a Russian roulette as to whether you 'make it', whatever that is.  You're essentially putting yourself out there, to drown.

You end up in search of the elusive scarlet pimpernel of blogging, the secret formula that will open your gates and let the scores of traffic in or the secret handshake that will gain you entrance into the elite inner circles.  The result is you get dragged under the tide, some of the time you don't even realise it's happening.

You become too self aware and the self conscious.   You write posts that will never be published then eventually you find yourself hardly writing at all.  You find yourself caring about whether people will read it then being too afraid to publish it because you know it's out there, people know it's out there and yet still probably won't read it.  Is it you?  Is it your writing style?  Your layout?  Oh my god, everyone hates the blog.  Oh my god everyone hates you.  Are you holding back? Are you being too emotionally slutty? Are you trying too hard? are you not trying hard enough? Are you really boring? It's no longer a cathartic act of emptying your head, it's a race you didn't even enter.

You're now giving a fuck about writing, but not for the words, it's about the numbers.  The numbers that are eating all the words.  It's not even like the numbers translate into anything tangible.  It's not even like they have any actual meaning.  They devour all the meaning from your words and still remain meaningless.  Yet defining.  You're broken down and defined by all these numbers, judged upon them and labelled by them. They're all around you.  You're not alone.  Numbers to the left of you, numbers to the right, numbers stuck in the middle with you.  Yet this is little comfort, the other peoples numbers?  they're carnivorous too.  Cannibalistic even.

A switch flicks in your mind.  There's a backlog of thoughts in fifty shades of grey yet the words, they've all gone away.

So lets go back to basics.  Back to why we started.  Sod the numbers, sod everything and sod you.  Lets go back to the rants and soul leaks of Dear Diary. Break these circles.  Lets go back to the start.  Write for writing sake.  Write for yourself.  Someone, somewhere will read it and appreciate your integrity and dignity.

You're not a number.

You're you.

It matters.

You matter

One avid reader, a true listener is worth more than a thousand hits.  To affect one person is better than being glanced at by millions.

Fuck the numbers.

To Blog or Not To Blog

What makes a good blogger?  what makes a good blog?  Are the two mutually exclusive?

There's such an intense focus upon ranks and popularity that many tremendous blogs can go unrecognised.  I know that SEO's and PR people find Google Rank and Domain Authority deciding factors in what necessitates a 'Good Blog' whilst bloggers may see parenting site rankings of blogs as the holy grail of success, yet I've visited plenty of high ranking blogs and granted some are incredibly well designed with great content yet others seem to mainly consist of reviews and sponsored posts with little substance inbetween.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to the odd review or sponsored post, I can be quite mercenary, yet I like to think it makes up the minority of my blog content.

What is blog success though?  Is it page hits? Ranking? The amount of PR opportunities offered? The amount of followers one gets? How many awards a blog has received?

Likewise what makes a good blogger?  Is it how popular they are within social media circles?

I've been blogging and journaling online for around 16 years now in various places and under various guises (livejournal, deadjournal, ujournal, vox, scribble,nu, blogger, wordpress to name a few) even now I have several blogs that are semi-active.  Yet, it's only been in the past four or five years that I've blogged to an audience as opposed to just friends.  I'm not a particularly good writer, I don't especially have anything of interest to say, I'm not savvy with the design aspect and I have very few followers and I doubt I'll ever be nominated for an award, but that's okay with me.  It really is.  People are reading it, I can tell from the statistics.  Occasionally they'll comment too and to me personally one single comment means more then a few hundred views.  I'm not popular, I'm too socially inept to be cool.  Again, I'm okay with that (most of the time!)  I'm always incredibly surprised when someone says they like my blog and I enjoy the times when I've been approached to guest post or have had my posts feature on other sites.

What do I personally look for in a blog?  I like to get a feel of the person who's writing (not like that, don't be a perve!) a glimpse into their mind/heart/life.  I like bloggers that have a 'voice' in the way they write.  I like to be made to feel something, whether it's laughter or sadness or even simple camaraderie when I read their posts.  I like honesty and an element of genuinity.  Some bloggers I'd like to know, other bloggers I'd like to be. I like reading blogs that are written to be read not to just be liked.  I like everyday documentation of the little things in life, the inner narration of other peoples minds and the experience of their life.  I like opinionated rants and information too.  I like those who write merely because they like writing or need to write without being precocious or pretentious.

The best blogs and indeed the best bloggers, in my opinion, are those that don't try to be popular or even aim to be. They have avid readers rather than thousands of followers.  They're popular not because of their actions but inspite of their lack of action in the blog world.  Those that write for themselves.  Those that write just to hope that someone, somewhere may read it.  The every day ordinary people who know not of their unique brilliance.

There's all sorts of reasons to blog, for the challenge, popularity, opportunities, money, exposure, influence etc.  All perfectly valid reasons to blog.

Me?  I blog because it's easier and cheaper than therapy.  I blog because for that short time when I'm typing, I can pretend I'm talking to someone and not just to myself inside my head like usual.  I blog in some pathetic attempt to leave a mark somewhere...proof I existed.  I blog because I like to write.  I blog because there's a comfort in the possibility that someone somewhere might read it.  I blog, primarily for me. Occasionally, I blog because I really need some money.

Why do you blog? What makes for a good blog in your opinion?  What about a good blogger?

Public service announcement....

Have you noticed? Tiaras & Prozac: Confessions of a Stay At Home Mum is now on it's own domain, hoorah! Not only that but we've had a makeover too.

If you haven't already please can you update any bookmarks or links with www.tiarasandprozac.co.uk.

We're not linked? why not? If you' like to trade blog links feel free to leave me a comment about it.

Am hopefully fully returned from my blogging hiatus, unfortunately we have a problem.....our laptop is now missing two keys and the D key needs an almighty wallop to work, hardly conducive with regular blogging. A new laptop or net-book is out of the question financially even a preloved one.  Arse.

Fancy seeing you here.....

Well hello there, do you come here often? I must beg forgiveness for my abysmal lack of updating you with my usual mundane drivel of everyday life.

Here, have some link-cookies whilst I compose something along the lines of a catchup.

http://storyofanortherngirl.wordpress.com/
http://wearingyourtattoo.wordpress.com/