Perhaps the holy grail of your makeup bag will forever be, the perfect foundation.  With more and more becoming available ranging from liquids, creams, powders, powders that turn to creams, creams that turn to powders, spray on, dust on to the rather mystical potions that allegedly automatically matches your skin tone not that i'm at all cynical, honest.

Personally I require several things from a foundation:

1) I'm pale, as in milk bottle pale and actually i'm rather partial to it too.  I care not for tans and nor do I aspire to be bronzed.  I certainly do not want to join that obscure race that appear to be a cross breed of carrots and oompa loompas.  .If I wanted to change colour, i'd buy Snazeroo.

2) Despite needing a foundation I'm actually terribly unimpressed with the idea of wearing one and prefer to feel like i'm not caked in polyfiller.  If you ever repeat this, I may have to hunt you down and dispose of you, but I also have a smattering of freckles and I quite like them visible.

3) It simply must be easy to apply and blend, there's something utterly ludicrous about VFL's (Visible Foundation Lines), there shouldn't be a visible area where your foundation stops and your neck starts.

It's not that I ask much, i'm not incredibly hard to please yet it has proved to be disastrously difficult, especially when on limited funds which do hamper ones ability to experiment.  I had initially settled in using Maybellines dream matte mousse until I decided to venture into the virgin territory of mineral makeup which I confess appealed to that slight crunchy side of my nature.

I started off using E.L.F mineral foundation and booster powder which proved relatively friendly to the pocket though their tubs aren't the largest in the world and the packaging is left wanting in design as there is nothing in place to keep the makeup in the tub when not in use, it escapes through the sieve like dispenser yet bugger me if you can get it back it.  It's not so much an issue when the product is new as you have to do a rather fetching shake and vac dance (oh god, I'm showing my age now) to actually get the dispenser to well, bloody well dispense! yet once you've used it a few times the contents then have space to move freely and escape should you fail to keep it absolutely upright, mission impossible when you have children who are rather partial to your makeup bag.  All is well whilst not in use yet you are met with an abundance of product simply desperate to escape as soon as you take the the lid off which leads to your face instinctively forming a very unattractive pose as you exclaim 'Gah!' repeatedly.  Granted in time the excess may get used but it is a rather extravagant waste and to be frank, it's frightfully messy.  On to the actual product itself, once you get the hang of buffing (what an extraordinary word, it feels like something you ought not to do in front of your Mother) it on in circular motions with your Kabuki brush (Kabuki, another fun word, sounds awfully suggestive.  Go on, say it a few times you know you want to and see if you're voice doesn't instinctively drop into some sordid sultry tone) you're good to go.  Less really is more, with mineral makeup you really do have to build it up until you get the exact level of coverage you're comfortable with.  I found the coverage was okay, the product didn't irritate my sensitive skin and the shade wasn't an obvious departure from my own fair skin.  However, without being able to pinpoint it, there was just a lingering feeling of it lacking something.  I'm not even sure what, it just didn't completely crank my tractor.  The finish wasn't satisfying my innate yearning to well, lets be honest here, look better.  I also used the booster powder, not entirely sure why, it just seemed like a good idea, some subliminal marketing message infiltrated my rationality and told me I needed it.  I first chose the shimmer booster, who doesn't love a bit of sparkle?  I admit to having quite a close relationship with glitter in my past so the sparkle appealed to me.  It's subtle, don't worry it won't Twilight you.  I later tried the sheer one just to compare and again, I can't quite point my finger on it yet it felt a little lack lustre.  It didn't wow me.  Forgive my petulance but I rather want to be wowed.

At the end of the day, if you want to have a dabble in the world of mineral makeup and you're brassic like me, E.L.F may be just what you're looking for.  Just don't expect miracles.

Being unusually graced with some funds (mainly from selling my soul and general belongings) I decided to slip from mineral virginity to mineral third base and started a triste with Lily Lolo having heard the name bandied about by online peers and hearing it is especially rather good for us vampires, I mean pale faces.

I went ahead and ordered some foundation and some finishing powder, still not quite convinced about the need for it, in my mind it seemed rather superfluous to put one powdered product on top of another, unless of course you're playing with eyeshadows.  Powder atop liquid foundation, made sense, but powder upon powder?

It's worth pointing out here that there is an incredibly wider selection of shades to choose from compared to E.L.F (I ordered the palest) and although at first you may think this is a justification of the price at nearly double that of the E,L.F foundation when you think about it, the Lily Lolo pots are also considerably bigger so it may not be as expensive as you first fear.

Remember a few paragraphs up my critique of the dispenser on E.L.F's products?  This is where Lily Lolo once again come up trumps, theirs have a rather nifty system rather like a salt dispenser where you can turn the dispenser to close off the product when not in  use, so simple and yet marvelously effective.  The product is also easier to dispense, with slightly less energy needed to initially shake it out.

The foundation is quite effortless to buff (wahey!) into your skin and incredibly easy to build up to your desired coverage and yet there is a certain feel of quality to it, i'm completely unable to describe it it just feels softer, smoother and never mind the bollocks.......nicer. It disappears to leave a natural,  silky finish to your skin.  One tip however is to make sure you moisturise about ten minutes before you apply it to ensure a better finish and to avoid any cakeyness (yes, I did just make that word up).  The shade for me is spot on, it may as well have been tailor made.

I finished up using their flawless matte fininishing powder having had it highly recommended to me by a peer. The finishing powder is noticeably harder to dispense then the foundation and has an entirely different texture even just from observing it on the lid pre-application.  It's also, white.  Very white.  So white you may recoil, petrified you're about to be gothed.  Even when you put it on, it's....you guessed it, white.  Whilst still easy to apply it is worth mentioning that it is noticeably more time consuming to buff then the foundation yet the effort is worth it.  Once applied, all whiteness is gone and you are left with an incredibly lovely finish that makes you squint as you try and remember how the bloody hell you managed to cheat your way into such a lovely look, too scared to sit down in case you accidentally impale yourself on some magic wand you didn't realise you had.

If you can afford the slightly higher initial outlay I would highly recommend Lily LoLo foundation and finishing powder.  Although not perfect, for me it comes suspiciously close to what I personally want in such products.  Sometimes a product both looks and feels good, and this is one of those products.  Lovely coverage, great shade, lovely texture and it doesn't feel like you're wearing makeup.

Being Female

I promise i'll return with recent antics from The Party of Five soon to bore you to tears yet for now here's a post about make-up.

I'll admit i'm hardly the most proficient in the art of makeup infact i'd probably say i'm a tad slap dash what with having zero patience.  I wear makeup to express myself and not as a daily ritual.  I do not belong to the 'spending over half an hour every day skillfully applying makeup so that it looks like i'm not wearing any' brigade.  I know not a stippling brush from a bullet crease doo-dah and the word Kabuki sounds like a sultry cocktail yet leaves a rather pleasurable vibration in the mouth when spoken so much so that I'm sat here like a true berk repeating it in varying seductive tones. True story.  The closest to Mac I've been is in the waterproof pac-a-mac kind from my childhood.  See, that's the other thing, not only am I terribly skint i'm also an awful cheap skate and fiercely resent paying top end prices, more so when I am gifted with neither the knowledge nor the skill to actually make use of it so that I actually look like i'm wearing bloody expensive cosmetics.

Then comes the question of style, or should that rather be questionable style seeing as I never did succeed in truly outgrowing that petulant panda eyed sulky grunge look and as one knows  you're never cured from gothism, you're only ever in remission.

In my youth I had a caboodle case, a terribly useful contraption in bright colours that stored cosmetics, back when I hardly had any besides the trusty black eyeliner, black nail polish and lots of glitter.  Yet the years and several house moves took their toll on it's deceptive youthful looks and  to be frank, it took a battering and lost.  The thing with make-up is, you have to want to use it, and often once you have, be it the end result or merely the enforced concentrated 'me' time it's application involve, it does have an element of feel-good about it.  Yet when faced with rummaging through the murky depths of an old washbag through makeup and brushes old and new in varying states of glory and decay the alternative of bare and not-so-freshed facedness seems a trifle enticing.  Have you ever looked at buying a makeup box?  Gosh, how utterly alarming the prices are.  All in the name of vanity. Think how much Gin you could buy with that or adversely how much Valium you'd need to recover from the hole in your purse.  So, in a thrifty light bulb moment I sent The Long suffering Husband to B&Q on a mission to purchase a cheap plastic tool box.  For the total cost of £5 I got something to store and organise my cosmetic wares in.  Bargain.

So whilst on the topic of make-up I thought i'd share with you my top three recent favourate buys, short honest opinions on current products from someone who is under no guise whatsoever of being adept or talented in the art, moreso just someone who quite likes having a dabble.

So the first product is a staple favourate, black eyeliner.  I have liquid, creams, glide ons, pens, pencils, you name it.  You can never own too much black eyeliner if you're still reliving your teenage years of grungetastic gothdom.  We are what we are.  I love the felt pens for precision and kohl for drama and smudgeability.  I was recently sent from the lovely people at MUA, amongst a small treasure trove of other goodies, a 3-in-1 contour pen (actually I received two but have only tried the black so far)  Firstly, one can't possibly review anything by MUA without commenting on the price, because seriously, it's cheap as chips.  With MUA you have no excuse whatsoever to not treat yourself to some new makeup.  This eyeliner is a whopping £1.50.  From the packaging to the product itself, aesthetically speaking it's comparable to the high end counterparts being neat, sleek and yes, i'd go so far as to say elegant.  Not at all what you'd expect for the price tag.  The nib is angled, which gives incredible contouring possibilities allowing you to achieve both thick, thin and tapered results with ease.  The colour is a nice dense black, that glides evenly across your lid and waterline gently and easily, no more gouging through your eyelid with a broken scratchy pencil and it stays put.  Sure, smudge and blend if that batters your fish or simply leave it be, either way it stays put exactly where you want it to regardless of whether you build up in layers or just glide and go.  Another plus is the lack of need for sharpening, you twist and have a solid supply of perfectly contoured product to wind upwards.  I'd love to experiment more yet The Toddler had a most enormous tantrum over me refusing to share it with him.  He's such a glam rocker.

In a nutshell you need on of these in your makeup bag.  You'll probably need several seeing the rather impressive colour range on offer and quite frankly, at only £1.50 a pop, why the hell not?

Second is another makeup staple, black mascara.  It's a minefield out there with mascaras, with obese lashes, tangled curly lashes, should look fake but are real lashes, hooker-tastic lashes, drag queen lashes, super duper even Eric Northman will fuck you if you wear this lashes with a whole host of promises that in my experience are nothing more then an anticlimax.  All at obnoxious prices that turn my internal narator into a slimmer and feminine version of my dad as it mumbles aghast 'look at the bloody price of that! what is it made from liquid gold? sweat from a virgin possoms sphincter?'

Someone recently recommended Eye's Right mascara from Lush's emotional brilliance range.  Yes, Lush doing makeup, what an epiphany! The price is a competitive at £12, yet on my bufget it was  a splurge as a treat.  At first glance it's essentially a dinky bottle like something from an apothecary laboratory with a dinky brush inside.  Stop right there, a dinky brush? Oh no.  Oh dear oh dear, how quaint.  You' be forgiven for seeming somewhat bemused at this having being woo'ed by the plethora of 'wands' from the highstreet, this although charming is a stubby relation.  It's not rubber, long, curved, twisty, futuristic and nor does it vibrate (sorry ladies) However, what it does do is easily apply mascara to all your lashes, even the itty bitty scrappy ones. The Mascara though, what about the inky black elixir? The shiny wet black ambrosia?  One sentence, It doesn't clump.  Not even a little, not even at all.  No nasty clay like nightmare, just shiny, wet perfect black mascara that layers up brilliantly creating a depth of colour that doesn't clog up your lashes or the bottle and easily glides through your lashes.  Hallelujah. Someone must have blown Lucifer himself for such a dark triumph.  Then you have the added bonus' of being made from natural ingredients and not tested on animals as expected from Lush.

Finally, it's another treat from the Lush sale which was once again recommended to me.  Fantasy eyeliner from their emotional brilliance range.  Now firstly it's gold.  Yes gold.  I don't do gold.  Despite my allegedly green eyes (The Husband says they;re green yet I've had a lifetime of thinking they're blue/grey) that apparently need gold to accentuate them, I've always steered clear.  The only gold I do is white gold.  It was an impulse purchase.  Once again it's the familiar and quaint little bottle that looks as if it should have a dropper inside with some medicine born of sheer witchcraft.  It's shiny and glittery, it glimmers whorish through the glass in a 'use me. abuse me. you know you want to' to kind of way.  There's a deliciously magical feel to it, ethereal and fae like.  Firstly, shake it before you use it, otherwise the gold and the clear separate a tad, nothing to worry about.  It goes on effortlessly, even a novice at applying liquid eyeliner should get an impressively straight line.  This particular shade dries near instantly.  Witchcraft I tell you, utter witchcraft. It's wet, then before you finish saying it, it's dry.  It will not smudge, whether it's a subtle line of gold or layered and thick whilst possessed by Flash Gordon. Bloody marvelous stuff. Daytime hint of enchantment or night time dramatics, it's versatile and a little bit of genius. I just wish i could afford the other colours to trial