Fatty fatty bum bum

I seem be doing tremendously well at perpetually committing gross diet fail. I was a mere stone away from target thanks to the aid of illness a while ago and yet the target is now a guilty 21lbs away.  Plateaued or simply stagnated, same difference, either way the biscuits are calling me and if I don't have at least one chocolate bar a day I turn remarkably homicidal. Yet needs must in the absence of alcohol consumption and cheeky smokes one must seek alternative vices, I just wish they could be less calorific ones.

I suppose the one small grace is that whilst full miss piggy mode is activated my weight appears to fluctuate a mere pound or two, rather a far cry from previous obesity. There is an element of comfort in the knowledge that I don't turn into a complete heffer the instant I up my calories.

Yet I can't deny the wretched feeling of self sabotage. So close and I have to ruin it. My target is in sight, compared to what I have lost (3st 9lbs) a mere 21 pounds sounds ridiculously achievable, does it not? Yet egads It's proving to be a bugger of a challenge.

There is an element of rather false complacency in wearing size 12 jeans, finally.

However there are many contributing factors besides a piss poor level of will power that have the rather unfortunate effect of devouring my diet mojo such as stress (check), illness (check), a rather unfortunate impromptu lack of zoloft (check) and .... The School Holidays.

Now don't get me wrong I love the little sods to the moon and back but it doesn't change the fact that they are rather adept at driving me round the proverbial bend. Bickering day in and out requiring tiring never ending refereeing worsened by the atrocious bouts of weather resulting in us being unable to chuck then outside to play.

Due to a dire lack of money, no transport and bad weather not to mention the Chicken Pox interlude with The Toddler we haven't really been anywhere or done anything. We couldn't even let then spend more time with The Grandparents as first they had decorating going on and now The Mother has pissed off to Spain again as per the norm when the kids are off school.

Thing Two turns into a quivering wreck in busy places and all the decent parks are bursting at The seams with unsupervised hyperactive asbo kids and tremendously annoying teenagers with inappropriate language and unsavoury behaviour who seen intent on hogging all the children's play equipment. Not forgetting that just to get to many of the decent parks in the first place costs a small fortune on public transport.

Thing One is incredibly good at walking and regularly walks 5-7 mile round trips with The Husband yet poor Thing Two's limit is an admirable 2-2.5miles which although awfully impressive does somewhat limit where we can go. When they're at school, since assassinating my obesity I've found that I too can actually walk a 5-7 mile round trip, with a 26lb toddler on my back too and better still in some strange twist I actually, dare I say, enjoy it (or rather I mightily enjoy the tremendous amount of extra calories it allows me to stuff my face with)

All of these factors culminate in boredom too hence my over eating again to compensate. 

I have an astonishing lack of self control.

So to conclude this drivel, I need to get back on track yet have accepted that I have A better chance of success when The kids are back at school.

I will reach my target. I will. I owe it to myself.