I seem be doing tremendously well at perpetually committing gross diet fail. I was a mere stone away from target thanks to the aid of illness a while ago and yet the target is now a guilty 21lbs away.  Plateaued or simply stagnated, same difference, either way the biscuits are calling me and if I don't have at least one chocolate bar a day I turn remarkably homicidal. Yet needs must in the absence of alcohol consumption and cheeky smokes one must seek alternative vices, I just wish they could be less calorific ones.

I suppose the one small grace is that whilst full miss piggy mode is activated my weight appears to fluctuate a mere pound or two, rather a far cry from previous obesity. There is an element of comfort in the knowledge that I don't turn into a complete heffer the instant I up my calories.

Yet I can't deny the wretched feeling of self sabotage. So close and I have to ruin it. My target is in sight, compared to what I have lost (3st 9lbs) a mere 21 pounds sounds ridiculously achievable, does it not? Yet egads It's proving to be a bugger of a challenge.

There is an element of rather false complacency in wearing size 12 jeans, finally.

However there are many contributing factors besides a piss poor level of will power that have the rather unfortunate effect of devouring my diet mojo such as stress (check), illness (check), a rather unfortunate impromptu lack of zoloft (check) and .... The School Holidays.

Now don't get me wrong I love the little sods to the moon and back but it doesn't change the fact that they are rather adept at driving me round the proverbial bend. Bickering day in and out requiring tiring never ending refereeing worsened by the atrocious bouts of weather resulting in us being unable to chuck then outside to play.

Due to a dire lack of money, no transport and bad weather not to mention the Chicken Pox interlude with The Toddler we haven't really been anywhere or done anything. We couldn't even let then spend more time with The Grandparents as first they had decorating going on and now The Mother has pissed off to Spain again as per the norm when the kids are off school.

Thing Two turns into a quivering wreck in busy places and all the decent parks are bursting at The seams with unsupervised hyperactive asbo kids and tremendously annoying teenagers with inappropriate language and unsavoury behaviour who seen intent on hogging all the children's play equipment. Not forgetting that just to get to many of the decent parks in the first place costs a small fortune on public transport.

Thing One is incredibly good at walking and regularly walks 5-7 mile round trips with The Husband yet poor Thing Two's limit is an admirable 2-2.5miles which although awfully impressive does somewhat limit where we can go. When they're at school, since assassinating my obesity I've found that I too can actually walk a 5-7 mile round trip, with a 26lb toddler on my back too and better still in some strange twist I actually, dare I say, enjoy it (or rather I mightily enjoy the tremendous amount of extra calories it allows me to stuff my face with)

All of these factors culminate in boredom too hence my over eating again to compensate. 

I have an astonishing lack of self control.

So to conclude this drivel, I need to get back on track yet have accepted that I have A better chance of success when The kids are back at school.

I will reach my target. I will. I owe it to myself.

Really should get back on the diet

I was going to make sweet & salty biscuits today until after weighing all the ingredients out I realised I had no eggs.  Oops.  So instead  made  cinder toffee  coated in Cadbury's dairy milk.

#dietfail

Oops.

Diet Fail (...again)

See what happens when I'm housebound?  Not only do I eat superfluously and constantly I also bake, a lot.

When The Grandparents are in the country Thing One and Thing Two have a 'special' day each at their house which started before they were school age.  So tonight The Grandparents picked Thing Two up straight from school and tomorrow it will be Thing One's turn.

Not only do they get quality time with The Grandparents without having to compete for attention, they also get some time out away from each other at home so slightly less mayhem and spats here.

It's not often I get one on one time with Thing One as although we adore each other I often fear we're from entirely different planets and he much prefers to be walking miles on end on adventures with The Husband or learning Morbid Angel riffs on his guitar.

So, I waited till he returned home from school to bake today.  Many parents often bake with their young and hats off to them, they obviously have a much higher tolerance level and patience then me.  Usually baking avec les spawn makes me want to lock myself in the bathroom swigging gin from the bottle whilst gibbering in tongues.

 Today we made Oreo cookie cupcakes using this fabulous recipe.  You can't really see but at the bottom of the cupcake is a whole Oreo cookie (the white ones look better this is a double chocolate one)

They are utterly divine and the mere thought of the calorific content gives me the fears.  My willpower is a fickle and weak thing so as always I shall be palming them off on relatives and begging The Husband to eat them whilst I'm sleeping.

The Husband is attempting to teach Thing One how to play with The Toddler as unfortunately the darling child appears to be missing the play gene and has an innate inability to play with toys, always has done.  However Thing Two and The Toddler can amuse themselves with toys independently, spontaneously and thoroughly.  Thing One has to be running (I kid you not we used to nickname him Forrest), play wrestling or watching TV.  All games are physical and without toys which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just rather exhausting to watch and frustrating for himself as he struggles to play alone and other then lining cars up and writing lists his copious amount of toys gather dust..

It's exceedingly amusing watching The Toddler pin and tickle Thing One and a welcome break to not hear him constantly shout and scream at Thing One which is the norm between them. As always though the fun is somewhat getting out of control with their over excitement so operation 'got to keep them seperated' for a while is about to commence as The Husband and Thing One disappear up to my bed to watch a Carry On film on my television and no doubt The Toddler will attach himself to me and feed like the boob junkie he is.

I'm beginning to wonder if The Grandparents have stolen Thing Two.......I'm five minutes away from making the 'where is she and what have you done with my daughter?' call.