So you barely survive the actual shopping part of Christmas presents with some remnants of sanity still intact using tactics such as a present for them, a Gin for me etc then you realise, it's not actually Christmas yet, where the hell are you supposed to store all this ...stuff.  If you're lucky you'll have nooks and crannies galore, if however you're like us, you'll be storage challenged.  I don't even have a wardrobe, my clothing being crammed into broken drawers, lolling out of them like a dogs tongue on a summers day.  We have no garage, porch, conservatory nor even a shed.   Arse.  What an inconsiderate house.  The bloody cheek of it, does it not understand our need for storage? There's simply no room at the inn.

I do however have a cupboard (with a broken door) in the main bedroom, which is crammed with paraphernalia of my youth, trinkets, out of season clothing, mountains of books and the like which at a push I can throw some presents in so long as I place the door back in front of it within seconds, or else it'll all fall out, whilst praying to The Gods.  Taking a deep breath whispering the mantra 'on the rocks on the rocks on the rocks' (thinking of Gin obviously, though I suppose it's rather an apt description for my lacking sanity too) I then execute with ninja finesse, the bum swap, that is to say swapping my gluteus maximus for the rocking chair of doom, to hold the door in place.  And breathe.

Jobs a good 'un now for the remaining mountain of presents.  Bumflaps. Had momentarily forgot about those in some mental defense coping mechanism.

There is the cupboard in the kitchen, which is full of junk and is where the coats are kept so it's patently obvious if we stash anything there.  Besides, the chance would be a fine thing, it takes sheer skill to venture in there without instigating a landslide of junk.

Call it what you may be it complete and utter laziness or a stroke of sheer genius but i'll let you into a secret, some of the presents.....we don't hide at all.  Yes, really.  At the bottom of our stairs and next to the front door is a heavily populated yet compact landscape of delivery boxes, in plain site.   the thing is, if you hide things people will look for them, if they're not hidden then they mustn't be terribly interesting or else why would they be so obviously unhidden?  We haven't even opened the boxes yet which adds to the ruse that they're unimportant.  Everybody knows that the first thing you do when an exciting box of something arrives is to open it.

Have The Spawn touched the boxes?  No.  Have they asked about them? No. Are they even slightly interested in them other than the fact they're in the way?  No.  This is the response of The Spawn, three highly skilled, frightfully curious professional sanity assassins.  It's nigh surreal.

The other option, is to hide them quite literally under their noses.  Last year we hid several large presents under Thing One's mid sleeper bed, the fact he never found them is testament to the absolute tip he leaves his room in.  He slept on top of them for weeks, absolutely oblivious.

Oh and lets not mention the stuff we stash in the boiler cupboard, again in Thing One's room.

So where do you hide yours?  Have your kids ever found them?  Do you wrap when you buy or wrap en masse nearer Christmas eve?



“This post is an entry into the Hudl Christmas cheer competition.

Autumn is....

"Autumn is shiny, brown concers falling

Autumn is brown, fast hedhogs highbnating

Autumn is boy and girls having leav fights

Thats what Autumn is

Autumn is spikye heghogs sleeping

Autumn is big shiny concer colections

Autumn is crunchy, rasling, leavs falling

Thats what autumn is"

By Thing Two Age 7

 This is my entry to the Center Parcs and Tots 100 November challenge. If I’m chosen, I would like to visit Whinefell Forest

Our favourate tip from Emma is:

Be inspired by your surroundings - Observe as the leaves change colour from green to red and let the 

beautiful burnt oranges get the creative juices flowing, what does it look like and remind you of?

Dream a garden

One thing that we've always considered important for a family home is a garden.  Since being with The Husband, over the past 13+ years we've lived in four houses the first had a small yard, the second had nothing, the third had  larger yard and finally, we got a garden in our fourth and current house.  It's reassuring to know The Spawn have outside space to run rampant about yet it's contained and most importantly...secure.  As a low income family and none drivers it's essential for us to have free outdoor space.  Children are natural little outdoors cretins who thrive in fresh air and nature, as they experiment and relish natures bounty whilst exercising and doing what all children should, playing.  Real playing.  No batteries or controllers included.  Nourishing their imagination and invigorating their minds and body.

Unfortunately our garden is, well to be blunt, rather dire.  With no spare funds to transform it it remains a small expanse of patchy muddy grass, with a broken swing which in turn broke The Spawns hearts.

We want an area that the whole family can enjoy throughout the year, that The Spawn can play in, grow in and learn from.

I asked Thing Two to draw me a picture of her dream garden and this is what she produced:

Complete with play castle, water statue, cameras, fans (for hot days), a bird tree and a spiffy roller coaster.

I asked Thing One and he then commenced a lengthy descriptive lecture which included go karts, a go-kart track and football nets..

The Toddler?  He rather fancies his own firestation out there

So as you do, I got to thinking what would I redesign the garden to look like should we have the funds and I came up with a rather less spectacular plan:

The top would have three distinct areas.  The first would be covered in play bark and house the dynamic and terrifically exciting TP Toys Castlewood Tower with Den Pack, Double Swing Set and Crazy Wavy Slide  from Activity Toys Direct.  This would make the most of the limited space combining several elements of play in one item that would have immense appeal for all three of The Spawn regardless of their difference in age.  Fireman Toddler would but ridiculously impressed with the firemans pole.  I'd also purchase the addition accessories pack:

It's often the little extras and details like this that turn something from terrific into something incredible.  Although I do fear that The Spawn would want to camp out on the play centre....permanently.  I'm failing to see how this would be a bad thing.  I could turn their bedrooms into a Gin distillery. Win win situation, no?

Oh dear, i'm all of a fluster on their behalf just thinking about it.

Next to this, ideally, we'd have some chickens with a run and home and then next to this some fruit trees (apples and pears) and the start of a flower bed that would run along the fence that separates us from nextdoor with something bright and colourful such as tulips and daffodils.

The Middle sections would remain grassy for general play and football with the addition of stepping stones so that in the grimmer weather The Spawn could traverse the grass to the play area without being swallowed by boggy mud.  Not to mention that stepping stones are simply delightful and aid imaginative play.

Although doubtful a budget would stretch, I would adore a shallow, narrow stream feature traversing the garden.

On the left would be either another flower or a herbal garden bed and the brown rectangle signifies a childrens garden area where they can dig to their hearts content, they like digging, they're either undercover moles or else attempting to relocate to Australia.

Finally the bottom area is split into two by an existing path from the back door.  I'd love to have the left side either paved or decked so that a family size picnic table could be situated for eating al fresco and outdoor crafts.  On the right would be a large raised bed to grow our own fruit and vegetables.

*** This blog post is an entry into the Tots100/Activity Toys Direct garden makeover competition.