It's a familiar story, Thing One ate all the cereal, The Dude is starving (very loudly) and can't find his shoes and Thing Two is nose deep in a book.  You can't send them to school hungry, The last of the bread is now butties for lunch and they can hardly eat a yogurt en route to school, unless you want a manky spoon in your pocket on the way home.  Or can they?

Petits Filous are now available in pouches! Hoorah! (No really, this is a hoorah moment!)

2014 Accessorise Yourself Challenge

Those that have been reading here for a while will be well aware of my total ineptitude at crafting.  It's not that I don't want to do it, I do.  I really do.  I'd love to be crafty yet alas I own not that effusive craft gene. You'd have thought that I'd have learned my lesson by now, especially following my entry to Country Baskets 'Festive Face off' competition.  Apparently not for here I am again, only this time i'm heavily pregnant with even less patience than usual willingly entering the Country Baskets Accessorize Yourself competition.

Our mission was to create a wedding accessory using a selection of items sent to us from Country Baskets to celebrate the upcoming wedding season.

Sounds easy enough.  Never mind getting the fears knowing how strong the competition was from last time and how the other entrants could basically outcraft me without even lifting a little finger.  Argh.  Why oh why do I do this to myself?

Then came the sheer terror of realising my inspiration had up and left.  I had no idea what I was doing.  As usual.

So I thought a little outside the box.  My main accessory anywhere is a child (or three and a bump) so seeing as they're my accessory I decided to make them look the part.

Voila, a dress fit for a wedding fairy or a flower-girl seeing as kitsch handmade weddings are growing in popularity.

In addition to the items that were sent I utilised my own hook and yarn to crochet the 'body' part of the dress.

To make this:

* Using double crochet I made the bodice part of the dress.  Usually this would be joined as a tube top, I decided not to crochet it closed.  Instead I used some of the heart printed ribbon to give a corset effect closure to the top.

*  I cute the voile/organza into lengths and then each length was halved length ways so the strips were narrower.

* Using the no-sew method of tutu making I attached the strips to the bodice and to make the straps.

* Binding together some flowers, butterflies and organza a small corsage was made and attached to the bodice.

* A few butterflies were then added to the waist to marry the bodice and skirt in style.

This is an entry into the Country Baskets 2014 Accessorise Yourself Challenge

Father's Day Giveaway! with Hotel Chocolat

With Father's Day just around the corner, what better way to treat a Dad in your life than with an indulgent gift kindly provided by the lovely people at Hotel Chocolat!  This giveaway is to win a Father's Day Collection.  Irresistible chocolate and some port?  It doesn't get much better than that.

In their own words:

"An irresistible collection of our finest chocolates paired with our Special Reserve Tawny Port – perfect for sipping lightly chilled on a summer’s evening.
Contents: Mini Hazelnut Bûche, High Cocoa White Nano Slab, 70% Dark & Nibs Nano Slab, 50% Milk Fruit & Nut Nano Slab , Smooth Praline Trio, 5cl Special Reserve Tawny Port
130g / 1x5cl"

Please do read the T&C's before entering, especially as due to the alcoholic portion of the prize you will need to be over 18 to enter and also a UK resident.

Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Competativeness

The school are holding a competition.  The worst kind, a crafty kind.  I send the little darlings to school to do all that messy creative stuff so that we don't have to do it at home all the time.  It only ever leads to mess and disappointment as like me The Spawn have grand ideas yet limited artistic ability.

The challenge?  To decorate a boiled egg for Easter.  Sounds frightfully simply, neh?

The Husband and Things One & Two had a failed attempt earlier in the week with childrens paint that resulted with grotesque looking drippy things akin to toddler nappy contents, you know the kind from after they've eaten all the crayons.

Fast forward to a last minute attempt last night , the night before it's due in, with some permanent markers.  In my defense I did try to dye them according to Google yet even that failed to work.

I provided them with an egg each and the pens and left them to it, afterall it is their project.  They did their best.  Although rather fond of craft, Thing Two prefers to do things spontaneously and not to order.  She likes to free think and not adhere to specifics.  Thing One is like me, poor sod, no patience and very little craft gene.  The Preschooler wanted in on the action despite the school Nursery not taking part so I helped him create his own too.

Then came this morning.  Evidently some parents have some difficulty with understanding that this is a competition for the children.  Their competitive nature took over and a glance around the playground showed some efforts worthy of Pinterest.  You look at these epic creations, picture perfect, not a single visible drip or brush stroke.  Everything is highly defined, unnaturally neat and damn near perfect.  It doesn't stop there, they have to go the whole hog and create whole islands and tanks and what have you to display them in.  Fair play you think, then you look at their child.  There is no way that snot nosed, disinterested little child went anywhere near that entry.  You see the hungry look of competitiveness in their parents eyes as they painstakingly cradle these creations that you just know, they made.  Yes, the parents. Their children have absolutely no interest in them, why should they?  They didn't make them! Cheats! Cheats! Cheats!

It's not just the lack of fairness that perturbs me, it's more so the message they're sending to their children. That it's all about the winning.  They have eradicated the taking part.  This should have been a fun activity for the children to do themselves.  Nobody was expecting anything to remotely resemble it's apparent theme, it should have been a mass of dribbly, speckled blobs that are the childrens vision, their pride and joy.  They've stolen the taking part from them.  It's become a lesson in fierce perfection rather than an expression of creativity.

Don't get me wrong,  I never for a moment expect Thing One or Thing Two to win, but it would be nice if an imperfect, genuine entry won.  Something a child did with minimal supervision and interference.  One of the lopsided ones you have to squint at to figure out what it's supposed to be.  One of the ones where you can almost picture the child, tongue firmly poking out in concentration, as a paint brush overloaded with poster paint redecorates the kitchen as well as the egg.  One made with love and determination.  One made with the notion of making something coming first and the idea of winning an afterthought.

Thing Two got a silver star the other day for randomly commenting to a teacher that she doesn't so much care about winning things, she just likes taking part and knowing she's tried.

It would appear some of the parents could do with understanding that.

I'm a firm believer that activities like this should be done in school time, among their peers under the supervision of teachers with zero interference from parents.  This has nothing at all to do with my general allergy to childrens crafts, honest.

Competition: Win a Step2 Easy Turn Pink Coupe!

Thanks to the wonderful people at Activity Toys Direct, I'm able to host this fabulous competition to win an amazing Step2 Easy Turn Pink Coupe Car (currently retailing at £49.99) for your little one!

• Fresh new look with a modern design
• Petrol cap, ignition key and working horn for added fun
• Removable floor board protects feet when mum is pushing
• Moulded in push handle in roof
• Clear roof enables mom to see her child when pushing
• Front castor wheel for easy manoeuvrability
• Cup holders for both mum and child
• Front trunk storage

For your chance to win just follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter widget below, don't forget to tell your friends and good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Festive Face Off

If you read yesterdays post you'll realise by now that I'm possibly the least crafty person on the planet.  A garden fence is far more creative than I.  So why, you may ask, did I agree to take part in a craft competition?  One of the prizes is a cash donation to a charity.  So, even though I stand not a chance of winning, I'm ridiculing myself for your amusement for the chance to donate to a charity/

The wonderful people at Country Baskets sent me this delightful hamper full of craft bits and bobs to utilise in this challenge.  It's huge.  The items are absolutely gorgeous.

It's the kind of delivery that will make you 'Ooooh!' and 'Ahhhhh!' in delight.  In short, a crafters hamper of eden.  Sure I had ideas.  I had ideas a plenty.  I always have an abundance of ideas.  Ideas aren't the problem, my complete and utter lack of ability to execute them is where the problem lies.  So after five epic fails, 12 tantrums and much exasperation I finally created something that The Toddler didn't laugh at, too much.

Rustic Christmas Wreath

I'm sure there are far more technically correct and tidier ways of doing this, but here's how I fumbled together my rustic christmas wreath.

1. Using florists wire I twined it round until it made a circle-ish shape.  I ended up twining it round a fruit bowl seeing as an upturned washing basket didn't work out so well and may have ended up kicked into a wall, hard.  At this point, I remembered I don't have any wire cutters so had the sub-genius idea of just spending a small forever twining the wire round the circlet in some vague hope it would a) strengthen it and b) eventually run out.  That was until The Husband informed me that I could actually cut wire with his pliers.  Oh.  Great,

2. Using some ivory coloured ribbon I started to wrap this around the circlet to provide a more aesthetically pleasing frame.

3.  Using a mixture of florist wire and a glue gun, I made my way around trying awfully hard to look like I knew what I was doing and started to attach the decorations.

It sounds incredibly simple and would probably take any normal person a fraction of the time it took me.  It may be slightly rustic looking.  It's far from perfect.  However, it's one of the few handmade things that I've actually completed and thanks to the quality of materials at hand manages to disguise a great portion of my clumsy ineptness.  Due to it's flexible frame it can be both a traditional circle wreath or a quirky rustic heart shaped wreath.

To view some of my epic fails along the way to creating this feel free to have a look laugh *here*.

Some tips I picked up along the way:

* Be prepared.  Plan everything first.  Ensure you have the right tools before you start.

* Hot glue on the tip of your thumb, hurts.  A lot.

* Figure out how to insert a new glue cartridge before you start, not when you only have one spare hand.

* Plastic stems are incredibly hard to cut.

* Don't try and work with whole coils of wire, you will trip up, get tangled up and swear.  A lot.  Measure and cut what you need first.

* Have fun.  Accept it doesn't have to be perfect.  The beauty of making something yourself is that it can reflect you.  This obviously reflects my eclectic, random and somewhat messy nature.
* You don't have to be crafty to craft.
* If you're not a naturally intricate and neat type of person, refer to your creation as 'rustic' and 'charming' these labels hide a multitude of sins.

This is an entry into Country Baskets Festive Face Off competition.

We were going out for dinner

I royally suck at fiction.  Always have. I'm a sucker for a competition though. This is an entry for a Mumsnet Competition link up. You too can enter here.

'We were going out for dinner....' her voice gentle yet firm.

'Stop' The word came out almost silent, more felt then spoken.  There was a canon ball in his chest and it hurt.

'But you need to hear this.  You need to do this' she implored, her eyes momentarily closing as if to drink strength from her heart upwards.

'Just don't. Not yet.  Not Now' he crosses the room in two angry strides, large fingers making hard work of his collar buttons as they fret and fumble upon them. 'You should start to get ready, we don't want to be late.  The table is reserved for eight'

'Jay, please...I know it's hard.  It's hard for me too.  We need to do this though.  We were going out for dinner, I was wearing the red dress that you loved so much, you said you didn't understand why so many red heads shied away from wearing red.  It was our tenth anniversary and it was so bitterly cold outside.  As we spoke and laughed our words were painted with our breath upon the air.  You held the car door open for me, you always did.  You're the ultimate gentleman...' She approached him, her pale fingers automatically going to his collar in a familiar and well rehearsed gesture to straighten it out, yet just caught herself at the last moment, her arms falling to her sides, resigned.  Her resolve trembled as she inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne, his signature cologne that when mixed with the natural scent of him made her want to drink him, eat him, become one with him. It isn't fair.  There, she said it.  This isn't fair.

He turned suddenly all fire and indignation, his eyes wet and crazed. 'NO!' near roared this time, an anger born of desperation. 'Lissa, please. Don't do this.  We just need to go out for dinner again.  We'll do it right this time.  Then everything will be okay.  Nothing else matters.' Drawers open he begins to place her clothing on the bed, glancing at his watch. 'We can still make it on time if you hurry'

 'You know we can't go out to dinner Jay.  Right?  Not after what happened.  You have to stop this.  You have to listen to me.  You need to move on.  You have to let me go.  We've been here for four weeks now.  Nothing has changed' Her lip bitten, her hands raise to cup his face, stopping just before connecting, his eyes capture hers, pin hers , she places a lone finger to her lips 'Shhhh Jay.  Please'

'Lissa.  It will be okay.  We can get through this.  Trust me, you trust me right baby? Nothing else matters. We just need to go to dinner' His voice soaked in desperation and dressed in Bourbon.  He's pacing the room.  Unable to look at her.  Unable to not look at her.  Hands worrying upon each other, agitating through his hair as if the act of smoothing his hair could somehow smooth life too.

Her movements in comparison are delicate, feminine as she crosses the room staring at her clothes laid out upon her bed, her book upon the nightstand, discarded earrings glittering in a blue glass bowl from their honeymoon.  Lashes tangle in puddles that pool from her eyes 'We were going out for dinner.  It was cold.  REM were playing on the car stereo, Night Swimming, we were singing along to it together'

With one swooping gesture his arm swipes across the dressing table sending jewelry, makeup and trinkets scattering to the floorboards, bottles of perfume shattering 'SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP' near chanted. 'You need to shut up! Please....'

'It's time Jay....' A step towards him, then another.

'Oh shit.  I'm sorry.  I'l replace your perfume, i'll put everything back look...I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.' strong hands, kind hands, trying to recreate the tableau of how the dressing table looked before his outburst, his eyes burning their gaze upon the shattered glass in some poor attempt to avoid his shattered heart.

'Look at me Jay.  I love you.' kneeling beside him.  'It doesn't matter.  It's just stuff.  It's not important' Red curls waterfall down her arm as she leans closer, attempting to force his eyes to meet hers.  'Shh, it's okay.  It will be okay.  I promise you.'

'Please. Don't make me do this.  I can't' he closes the gap between them, knees nearly touching hers, his face just a kiss away from hers, his gaze finally meeting hers.

'We were going to dinner.  We didn't see it coming.  They were going too fast.  They ploughed into our car. We never made it to dinner.  We'll never make it to dinner.' Her voice small yet the only sound in their universe other than the beating of his heart as it quickens and breaks, again.  And again.

'Lissa.. No.......don't say it' It's a plea, a choked plea.

'Because I died.  I died Jay.  But you didn't.  You're alive and you have to stay alive, for you.  For me.  And to stay alive you have to start living.  To start living you have to say it so I can go.  Not because I don't want to stay, but because I can't stay.  You know this.'

He can't stop the tears, yet the more he cries the blurrier she gets. 'We were going out for dinner...' she nods to him, to go on and as he says the words for the first time in four weeks he feels her, her hand on his, her lips pressed to his cheek 'and you died' and when he opened his eyes, she was gone.

Autumn is....

"Autumn is shiny, brown concers falling

Autumn is brown, fast hedhogs highbnating

Autumn is boy and girls having leav fights

Thats what Autumn is

Autumn is spikye heghogs sleeping

Autumn is big shiny concer colections

Autumn is crunchy, rasling, leavs falling

Thats what autumn is"

By Thing Two Age 7

 This is my entry to the Center Parcs and Tots 100 November challenge. If I’m chosen, I would like to visit Whinefell Forest

Our favourate tip from Emma is:

Be inspired by your surroundings - Observe as the leaves change colour from green to red and let the 

beautiful burnt oranges get the creative juices flowing, what does it look like and remind you of?

Dream a garden

One thing that we've always considered important for a family home is a garden.  Since being with The Husband, over the past 13+ years we've lived in four houses the first had a small yard, the second had nothing, the third had  larger yard and finally, we got a garden in our fourth and current house.  It's reassuring to know The Spawn have outside space to run rampant about yet it's contained and most importantly...secure.  As a low income family and none drivers it's essential for us to have free outdoor space.  Children are natural little outdoors cretins who thrive in fresh air and nature, as they experiment and relish natures bounty whilst exercising and doing what all children should, playing.  Real playing.  No batteries or controllers included.  Nourishing their imagination and invigorating their minds and body.

Unfortunately our garden is, well to be blunt, rather dire.  With no spare funds to transform it it remains a small expanse of patchy muddy grass, with a broken swing which in turn broke The Spawns hearts.

We want an area that the whole family can enjoy throughout the year, that The Spawn can play in, grow in and learn from.

I asked Thing Two to draw me a picture of her dream garden and this is what she produced:

Complete with play castle, water statue, cameras, fans (for hot days), a bird tree and a spiffy roller coaster.

I asked Thing One and he then commenced a lengthy descriptive lecture which included go karts, a go-kart track and football nets..

The Toddler?  He rather fancies his own firestation out there

So as you do, I got to thinking what would I redesign the garden to look like should we have the funds and I came up with a rather less spectacular plan:

The top would have three distinct areas.  The first would be covered in play bark and house the dynamic and terrifically exciting TP Toys Castlewood Tower with Den Pack, Double Swing Set and Crazy Wavy Slide  from Activity Toys Direct.  This would make the most of the limited space combining several elements of play in one item that would have immense appeal for all three of The Spawn regardless of their difference in age.  Fireman Toddler would but ridiculously impressed with the firemans pole.  I'd also purchase the addition accessories pack:

It's often the little extras and details like this that turn something from terrific into something incredible.  Although I do fear that The Spawn would want to camp out on the play centre....permanently.  I'm failing to see how this would be a bad thing.  I could turn their bedrooms into a Gin distillery. Win win situation, no?

Oh dear, i'm all of a fluster on their behalf just thinking about it.

Next to this, ideally, we'd have some chickens with a run and home and then next to this some fruit trees (apples and pears) and the start of a flower bed that would run along the fence that separates us from nextdoor with something bright and colourful such as tulips and daffodils.

The Middle sections would remain grassy for general play and football with the addition of stepping stones so that in the grimmer weather The Spawn could traverse the grass to the play area without being swallowed by boggy mud.  Not to mention that stepping stones are simply delightful and aid imaginative play.

Although doubtful a budget would stretch, I would adore a shallow, narrow stream feature traversing the garden.

On the left would be either another flower or a herbal garden bed and the brown rectangle signifies a childrens garden area where they can dig to their hearts content, they like digging, they're either undercover moles or else attempting to relocate to Australia.

Finally the bottom area is split into two by an existing path from the back door.  I'd love to have the left side either paved or decked so that a family size picnic table could be situated for eating al fresco and outdoor crafts.  On the right would be a large raised bed to grow our own fruit and vegetables.

*** This blog post is an entry into the Tots100/Activity Toys Direct garden makeover competition.