Those that have been reading here for a while will be well aware of my total ineptitude at crafting.  It's not that I don't want to do it, I do.  I really do.  I'd love to be crafty yet alas I own not that effusive craft gene. You'd have thought that I'd have learned my lesson by now, especially following my entry to Country Baskets 'Festive Face off' competition.  Apparently not for here I am again, only this time i'm heavily pregnant with even less patience than usual willingly entering the Country Baskets Accessorize Yourself competition.

Our mission was to create a wedding accessory using a selection of items sent to us from Country Baskets to celebrate the upcoming wedding season.

Sounds easy enough.  Never mind getting the fears knowing how strong the competition was from last time and how the other entrants could basically outcraft me without even lifting a little finger.  Argh.  Why oh why do I do this to myself?

Then came the sheer terror of realising my inspiration had up and left.  I had no idea what I was doing.  As usual.

So I thought a little outside the box.  My main accessory anywhere is a child (or three and a bump) so seeing as they're my accessory I decided to make them look the part.

Voila, a dress fit for a wedding fairy or a flower-girl seeing as kitsch handmade weddings are growing in popularity.

In addition to the items that were sent I utilised my own hook and yarn to crochet the 'body' part of the dress.

To make this:

* Using double crochet I made the bodice part of the dress.  Usually this would be joined as a tube top, I decided not to crochet it closed.  Instead I used some of the heart printed ribbon to give a corset effect closure to the top.

*  I cute the voile/organza into lengths and then each length was halved length ways so the strips were narrower.

* Using the no-sew method of tutu making I attached the strips to the bodice and to make the straps.

* Binding together some flowers, butterflies and organza a small corsage was made and attached to the bodice.

* A few butterflies were then added to the waist to marry the bodice and skirt in style.

This is an entry into the Country Baskets 2014 Accessorise Yourself Challenge

Craft Off.

I'm high from spray paint fumes and I can no longer feel my fingers.  Part of my garden looks like a drag queens handbag has vomited.  Panic has set in.  & my F key keeps failing, terribly irritating when your favourite word is uck.

For some reason totally unbeknownst to me I agreed to take part in a craft competition.  Yes, me.  The Craft inept. I can't sew, draw, knit, crochet, paper cut, paper fold or anything else remotely creative.  I wish I could, I dream of it yet I appear to not possess the craft gene.  Worse still, there are only thirty entrants, 29 of which will be craft orientated, possibly with extra craft chromosomes.  Where was my better judgement and sanity when I needed it?  What is it we were told when children 'Just say no' (unless you're asked to tidy your room.  Saying no to that is detrimental to your health)  I have an abundance of ideas, it's the execution that fails me.  My attempts at anything remotely craft like would even be ridiculed by preschoolers.

Woe and behold, a huge hamper of craft delights was delivered to my door, then it hit me.  I have to make something out of all this.  Arse.

I brain stormed.  I Googled.  I entered  into a Pinterest delirium. I attempted three things, threw six tantrums and failed dismally.

Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Time is a ticking.

Hence why I can no longer feel my fingers and I'm slightly squiffy from fumes.

Worry not, all shall be revealed.  Not long now and i'll post it up on the blog and you can ridicule me at your own leisure whilst I run a bath of Gin and go under.

The craft gene?

It would appear that some people are naturally predisposed to certain talents with the old adage of it 'running in the family' such as art, music or sport (the latter partly to do with the 'ace gene' no, really. Google it. ) things that many people can learn to do yet there are lucky gits are born with a natural talent for it and simply excel. Unfortunately other then my rapier wit and bad looks the only talent I have inherited is sarcasm and a filthy sense of humour seeing as I can't sing, draw or play an instrument for toffee and I'm allergic to sport.

So it got of thinking that perhaps there is a craft gene, no stay with me here, I'm actually being serious! Some people just seem naturally adept at crafting being able to fathom and charm their hand at a multitude of crafts adding them to their armory of talents.

Then there are cack handed craft inepts like myself who spectacularly balls up anything they touch. I have an immense capacity for creative ideas yet zero talent. The first time I tried to crochet I had a tantrum and threw my yarn and hook in absolute frustration when I couldn't even fathom the knot never mind attempt a stitch. I have serious lack of patience and precision and an excess of petulance.  I simply lack any ability whatsoever. I just can't craft. At all. It's the equivalent of of trying to lip read someone who is speaking fluent Japanese. My brain just can't process nor understand the process.

In conclusion, I'm a talentless bint really but It's okay, I inherited my talentless. It's a gene thing. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.