I've survived the weekend so far, just.  However, the awful guilt of being very un enid blytonesque saw me making The Toddler a fresh batch of play dough today, whilst I poked about at the dirty pots seeing how many I could get away with not doing.  All was well, his face was one of utter delight as we sat and laughed together, splatting play dough balls  with our hands (after he made me create said balls) we were a poster advert for good mothers.com until The Toddler decided to wander round the kitchen depositing lumps of play dough that i'd lovingly prepared by hand all around the sodding kitchen and when I had the audacity to reprimand him he then decided to lob them, everywhere. Git.

Needless to say I got rather cross and he indeed got rather crosser before he resorted to the age old art of sulking seeing as I dared to turn the lifeline oops I mean television off. Yet to think it as only this morning when he beamed into my eyes with a dazzling smile and called me 'best friend'.

I should learn, I've documented enough disasters on here of when I try to be a proactive at play mum, yet sit me down on the sofa with my life support (aka my phone) and he happily potters around playing a multitude of complex and enchanting games, occasionally stopping to watch a bit if tele or to have a boobie snack perfectly happy as we chat.

Having no idea as to when to expect thee return of The Spawn I didn't even try and get The Toddler to nap today and thus i'm frightfully knackered and am decidedly dreading bedtime tonight as I fear with The Husband still en route home from Austria Things One & Two will concoct a whole repertoire of ailments to prolong the inevitable act of going to sleep.  Joy.  

I'm feeling especially more relaxed on The Christmas Shopping front with the majority of The Husbands presents bought, all of The Spawns 'main' presents (however still an absurdly large amount of smaller gifts to get) I've even bought The Mothers gifts so that just leaves The Nephews, The Brother and The Father as well as the beloved Outlaws. ...& breath.

I'm feeling especially smug as I managed to buy a Didicar for a bargainous price thanks to an offer, some credit and the discount code 20MUMSNE15 (shhh, you can thank me later)  It shamefully wasn't even on the list but I couldn't resist, however this does mean Things One & Two may have to actually share, oh bollocks.  What a genius plan that was.

In a fit of uncharacteristic efficiency I've managed to find and order Thing Two's outfit for The Wedding in January.  

I've even done some laundry today, mayhaps i'm ill?  That would explain it.

Yet to top it all of,  yours truly the absolute craft inept made (yes made) one of Thing Two's presents last night.  She wants to be a ballerina so having bought a cheap pink leotard I've made her a tutu to go with it.  Calm down, relax, it was a no sew one, i'm still me.

So Santa Baby, since I've been an awfully good girl, please pretty please could I have a shiny new camera? If you agree i'll even give you the antidote to the poison in the milk you just drank.  It's not that i'm mean, i'm just terribly desperate. I've been positively lusting after a DSLR for many many years now and I'm sure The Elves won't care too much if you get it from Jessops, you could probably even get some cashback too to spend on Mrs Claus.

Oh bumflaps.  The Spawn are going a tad mental, with The Toddler sat in Thing Two's doll pram as she zooms round the room pushing him whilst Thing One is being a general pissant.  I've been pretending not to notice but I guess I really should referee (aka issue some bollockings) before it all gets out of hand ...

Damn.  Too late.  Boobies to the rescue.

The 'C' word.

It's only just turned October yet a few weeks ago, yes, that would be September our local super market was boasting shelves swollen with Christmas stuff. Yes, really, Christmas. What is wrong with people, It's nearly a quarter of a year away! We've only just said so long and farewell at the grey and dismal funeral of our so-called summer.Gosh, It's all gotten rather silly hasn't it?  Is the great British depression so virulent that we've resorted to this? What a load of tosh. surely if we start this early then by the time December graces us the build us leaves naught except a rather unfortunate anti climax.

When you're wee, Christmas is a magical time of sparkle, chocolate and presents. When you're in your spritely youth It's all about getting rather trolleyed with added sparkle to your hangover. Yet when you become a boring grown-up with a husband and spawn it becomes a tactical and logistical headache balancing the timing, finances and organisation whilst portraying a fascade of excitement, peace and magic. Don't bother gift wrapping the Valium just gimme gimme gimme. Perhaps if The Toddler ever decides to night wean I can get squiffy whilst on wrapping duties to alleviate the ennui, it would only take a sniff or two of a wine gum It's been that long. The Husband may even get lucky, at least that would save money on a gift...

Yet Yule aside between November and January there are no less then five birthdays on The Husbands side of the family, how rude of them!

I need a money tree.

Every year since birthing The Spawn I vow to be more organised as opposed to leaving it all until the last week or two.

This year I'm already plotting the token gifts for extended family, perhaps venturing into the rather twee world of the personalised photo calendar. What better gift for The Grandparents then a darling picture of the little darlings aka the grand spawn for each month of 2013? I know, I know, pass the bucket. Yet when you have exhausted all other budget friendly gifts such as alcohol, chocolates, book tokens It's time to get 'personal'.

It was one of those things that I always assumed would be grossly over budget until I was fantasy shopping at Jessops Photo (oh sugar daddy! A dslr please, pretty please) and came across make your own calendar. Jobs a good 'un! That's The Grandparents presents sorted then. Piece of piss this being organised lark. Now....where's the wine gums?.... I'm positively exhausted after all that cyber shopping.