Yes I'm quite aware I still haven't managed to catch up yet but I will take this minute through the harassment of The Sprogs to have a brief recap of yesterday.  For those that follow me on Twitter (and if you don't, why on earth not?! do follow and say hello) you may be aware that yesterday I had to take The Toddler to the hospital, again.  Those who've known me a while will know that this will be the 4th? 5th? time since last November. 

I'll spare you the boring details and gripes about incompetency and such bollocks and just give the basics.  Nearly 8 hours, twenty eight (possibly 34, I'm too tired to remember) puffs of Ventolin, several vomits, a nebuliser, two attempts at oral steroids, 4 doctors and a chest x-ray later and we finally arrived home.

Despite it all The Toddler was an absolute star and collected admirers and melted hearts wherever he went.  He really is rather adorable.

Busy Day for The Toddler

 

Thing One and Thing Two are sharing their weekly special day this week much to Thing Two's delight and Thing One's dismay due to The Mother whizzing off to Spain on Thursday for two weeks and they get picked up direct from school.

Today was the day of The Toddlers '2 year developmental check' with a Nursery Nurse from the Health Visiting Team.  The Toddler hasn't seen a Health Visitor or the like since he was 9 months old.

Pre her visit I had one of those rare moments of motivation, they don't visit often so I end up having to act on them before they hibernate again so The Toddler and I went into the kitchen to do some speed crafting, speed being because like me he has a fairly limited attention span so in about 40 minutes he'd painted (with dabber paints, less mess!), printed with stamps and played with dyed pasta and followed each task by predictably throwing everything on the floor when he'd finished.

The two year checks have significantly changed since Thing Two has one, for starters when Thing Two was a toddler you had to virtually hunt a Health Visitor down and pin them to get a check, with The Toddler they are doing the chasing.  I must say the review was more like a test, with a multitude of small tests that he was given, observed and then marked on.  Unfortunately The Toddler wasn't in an amenable nor performing mood, partly because it was in fact his nap time and he was blooming knackered and secondly because he's not very forgiving of strangers.  He point blank refused to do several of the tests and sat all stoic and sceptical.  Irregardless he's apparently at the developmental level of a 30 month old on most things and a 36 months old on others.  Not quite sure if he found the whole thing incredibly exhausting or simply tremendously boring but he went out like a light when I took him up to bed.  

Unfortunately (for me) the nap was remarkably short so we wasted some of the sunny afternoon with a wander to the shops that usually takes ten minutes yet took nearer thirty with his bubble blowing lawn mower.

It's so hard being a toddler.

After tea last night we needed something from the corner shop so we decided to all go, The Husband and I on foot, Thing one and Thing Two on their scooters and The Toddler walking.  He was veritably happy holding both The Husbands hand and my hand.  However, he was not happy just holding my hand, oh no.  The Husband attempted to catch up with the elder two and The Toddler had an epic tantrum and tried to lay down, in the road, as you do.  I had to near dislocate his arms to pick him up and get him to the other side as he did that dastardly thing all toddlers do when they don't want to be picked up under any circumstances, they go floppy.  In his wisdom The Husband thought he'd go into the shop alone, cue yet another epic and absolute breakdown from The Toddler until The Husband picked him up and took him with him.  Just in case two immense tantrums weren't enough in 10 minutes, The Husband, the big kid that he is, went to have a go on Thing One's scooter resulting in a third tantrum from The Toddler as he tried to throw himself on the path whilst I scrabbled desperately trying to support his head so it didn't make acquaintance with the pavement, yet The Toddler was having none of that, little did he realise I was trying to help him, the silly sod, and he wailed and flailed and flopped and thrashed, whilst I scrabbled and juggled and grabbed and in the end I just saved his head from meeting the ground yet he fought that hard he nutted his lip on my knee. Gah.  No really, double gah. I don't mind him having a tantrum, he's entitled to feel miffed however I do so wish he would try a wee bit  harder to not damage himself or at least let me help him.

Lesson learned The Husband didn't stray again and the homeward trip consisted of ye olde distraction trick one 'one, two, three, weeeeeeeeeeeee' swinging him between us.

Dead Dollies

Thing Two arrived home from school on Friday with a special friend to stay the weekend, Tigger.  This is the third time he's stayed over at our house.  He gets given out to members of her class who have done well at school and he comes with his own overnight backpack with a bedtime story, pj's and a diary that I have to write in from his point of view.  Unfortunately Thing Two is 5 going on 40 so isn't easily charmed by a soft toy so the most fun he's had is a whirl in the washing machine as he was looking dreadfully grubby.  Occasionally she'll humour us grownups and pretend to be 5 and act accordingly.

Feeling brave I embarked on a half hour walk sans The Husband with all three kids after school.  The elder two were on their scooters and The Toddler as usual was on my back in the sling.  Surprisingly my anxiety levels didn't tip me over the edge.  Unfortunately we had to come home however as the sky threatened to leak on us.


The Toddler was somewhat unfortunate in his antics on Friday and ended up being the injured little soldier.  Seemingly unable to get off of the bed the usual safe and dare I say normal way he instead decided to participate in a decidedly trickier route which resulted with him cutting the inside of his lip.  Having not learned caution from that he later hurt his wee cheek whilst stacking and climbing on a multitude of toys, that toddler really is part monkey and part mountain goat.

The Husband barely escaped the doghouse when he received a phone call from somewhere he'd been that day informing him they'd found his wallet.  You know, his wallet that he hadn't even realised he'd lost.  the same wallet that happened to have an irreplaceable ninety pounds within it which is needed for a bill.  Gods only know why he took the money out with him in the first place yet by some cosmic magical alignment the money is still in the wallet and he shall be picking it up quick sharp on Monday. The Husband and money is about as disastrous as The Husband and electrical items.

The Toddler was lovingly playing with Thing Two's dolls yesterday and even went so far as to make them something to eat from his play kitchen and then tucked them in the pram saying 'shhhh night night' It was decidedly charming to witness, until five minutes later he squealed with wild abandonment and utter delight as he slung them one by one across the floor.  He's definitely related to Thing Two though she prefers to run them over.

Thing One made us immensely proud Friday after school.  Whilst playing outside with some newly acquired friends we happened to glance out the window to check all is well only to witness him riding a two wheel bike without stabilisers! My word! We bought him a bike last year yet due to weather he only had two attempts to ride it on a field with The Husband neither of which were remotely successful so what an unexpected surprise to see him learning on his own!

The Toddler is still tremendously obsessed with phone,s everything any anything is a phone, books, building bricks, pots, horses, dolls and of course not to forget actual phones.  Every time the house phone rings (which isn't often being the Misanthropic gits that we are) he dashes over towards it jubilantly shouting 'Nanna!" Nanna!' and picks up his own phone and commences to say 'hewwo, yes, yes, no, no, bye bye!'






and finally before I bore you utterly to tears another update on Thing Two's melon pot..

To nap or not to nap?

Evidence that despite what he sometimes tries to make us believe, he does indeed need naps

This is what happened a week or so ago when The Toddler didn't have a nap and was being watched by The Husband, one minute The Toddler was engrossed in Ben & Holly and the next?

 

Evidence he does indeed still need a nap.......just not all the time.

Spuds & Tantrums

Wednesday night was what one can only describe as abysmal.  The Toddler was feeding hourly due to pesky teeth so as a result I was dreadfully tired.  The Husband was kind enough to let me retire to bed in the morning yet I must confess, rather then sleep I read.  Still, it was nice to be alone and not be mauled and pawed for a while.  The Toddler appeared to be on a poo mission yesterday and rather then nap, he poo'd, several times in fact. Neither The Husband nor myself were particularly impressed to say the least.  Subsequently I then had to spend the rest of the day ensuring he didn't fall asleep and make bedtime even longer then it already is.  Hence The Toddler walking up the tree tunnel home from the shops, he looked rather too much like he was dozing off on my back in the sling so I evicted the wee fellow, mean mummy that I am.  However tantrums were rife when towards home The Husband handed him over to me as only daddy's hand will do, apparently.  I don't really cater to tantrums.  I figure he has a right to feel whatever emotion it is he feels, however it doesn't mean his way of dealing with it will change anything.  So I let him get on with his little tantrum, yes the full lie on the path and cry type, watching over with him until he was ready to accept that yes although he doesn't have to like it, that's absolutely his prerogative but he must hold my hand regardless should he wish to get home any time soon. 

Unfortunately The Toddler isn't the only tantrummer.  Thing One spent his pocket money on a plastic spud gun (I know I know, we point blank banned gun toys when he was younger much to his  utter dismay however, now he's old enough to fully understand what a gun is and what it represents...c'est la vie.  I played with a gun and I'm not quite a homicidal psychopath, well not all the time at least. He was given one rule with regards to playing with it, do not aim at anyone or hit anyone with the spud ammo.  Within five minutes I felt one on me.  He could have aimed at the floor, to the sides, behind him but no, he aimed at me and he was smirking.  Cue a huge tantrum when The Husband confiscated the offending item as Thing One simply refuses to accept responsibility for his actions with a complete inability to hold his hands up and say 'i'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it' First he blamed the maker of the gun, then he blamed Thing Two and finally blamed....the weather.  Needless to say the discourse only served to infuriate The Husband even more into a state of complete exasperation.  Then there was tea time last night, The Toddler did another impromptu poo, this time during tea, whilst we sorted him out I clearly heard Thing Two shout 'NO' at Thing One before the familiar stampede of Their feet to the stairs blathering and arguing as Thing Two accused Thing One of stealing her chicken and Thing One clearly denied it till he was blue in the face (or red actually) However I had a trick up my sleeve, I knew all he had left to eat was sweetcorn which he was dutifully eating when I went upstairs so I asked him to open his mouth.  What did i see on his tongue? The remnant of a mouthful of chicken.  His story then changed to 'She gave it to me!' to which I rationalised to him that if she gave it to him that suggests she wanted him to have it so why would she then shout no, burst into tears and grass him up?  Once again, half an hour later he admitted she was right.
 

The mystery of the missing book bag has been solved.  The Husband had phoned the taxi rank and the shops they went in and no book bag had been handed in.  However, yesterday Thing One jubilantly skipped out of school with his book bag in hand.  Apparently one of the school's dinner ladies has a friend, who had evidently used the same taxi that The Husband and Thing One had, found the book bag and gave it to her Friend to take into work who then in turn found Connor and handed it back to him.  It's the small things that restore an element of faith in humanity.

The Toddler remarkably went to sleep incredibly easily last night with the usual 3-4 wakings as opposed to the recent 10+.  Now I know The Husband would commit the relationship faux pas of saying 'I told you that you shouldn't let him nap so he'd sleep better at night' which is all very well in theory but he does need a nap most days otherwise he gets beastly tired then manic not to mention I need the nap too.  So although I rather enjoyed the better bedtime, I'm putting it down as an anomaly as opposed to a direct result of not napping.

After a shocking nights sleep the night before I should have made the most of it and slept, however, I finished my third book in as many days instead.  Oops.

Easy Peasy Play Dough

It really is easy peasy and so much nicer then the stuff you buy.  All you need is:

• 1 cup of plain flour
• 1/2 cup salt
• 1 tablespoon of cream of tartar
• 1 tablespoon of oil
• 2 fruit teabags (or food dye)
• 1 cup of hot water

First add your teabags to the cup of boiling water, you'll need to leave for 4-5 minutes to get a rich colour, I'm impatient though so mine only got a pink tinge.  You can use food dye instead (add to the water) however, the teabags smell divine! Also add the tablespoon of oil.  I used vegetable oil, you can use any oil.  Baby oil gives it a nice smell on your hands when you're playing with it.

In a bowl add the dry ingredients together.


Add the coloured water to the dry ingredients and start mixing

 It will be quite sticky and sloppy at first.

Keep mixing and it will firm up, if it doesn't seem to be turning you can add a little more flour until it does.

Play!

 
 
Keep in a self-seal bag or airtight container and it lasts for quite a long time.  If the air gets to it and it feels a little crunchy just soften it in your hands with some more oil.

Keeping the peace

The things you do to keep the peace when you're a mum.  The Toddler was somewhat restless last night, he's terribly full of snot and still teething three teeth.  I tried to creep away for a pee after spending an hour from 3am getting him back to sleep only for him to leap up with superhero speed and astonishing agility for someone who should be asleep and wrapped himself around my leg shaking, howling and crying every time i tried to escape.  It was a split moment decision, let him get more and more upset and possibly wake Thing One, Thing Two and The Husband or..... have a pee with him sat on my knee.  Can you guess which one happened?