There is a certain expectation that boys should have an element of bravado about them, to appear tough.  Should a boy cry he isn't hurt or upset he's merely being a 'girl'  a 'cry-baby' or a 'wuss' Why is it that society has been intent for generations to emotionally stunt boys?  Why is it deemed weak for them to express hurt, sadness or fear?

Children are generally emotional creatures, feel  first and think later.  Yet like racism and homophobia they learn other behaviours by example set by the role models in their lives.  If they have been primed into thinking that showing emotion is a weakness, they will then accuse others who show it of being weak.  Their role models changed and shaped them and as such their manufactured attitudes that are a product of this will in turn shape others through peer pressure or worse, bullying.

So many parents attempt to then get their sons to 'toughen up' so that they will not be seen as weak by peers and thus become a target.  Although the intentions are good, it doesn't make it right it just merely re-enforces the ridiculous societal belief that showing emotion is a weakness.  If they're not free to show emotion then they will thus have no ability to cope with emotion and more importantly the excess of it which will in turn lead to frustration and perhaps fear, the fear which must be suppressed and thus starts the cycle again so they react in the only gender acceptable way, physically.  Through gender stereotypical oppression they're being forced into being dysfunctional.  This will shape them and have ramifications upon their future social relationships and how they relate to others.  In turn  this will shape their sons and their sons and their sons.

So what do we do?  What can we do? What should we do?

How do we break the cycle?  How do we break societal believes in order to fix and reset the beliefs?

If we don't prepare them and toughen them up they'll be seen and treated as a pussy and thus suffer and be forced to change.

If we do try a little tough love to roughen their edges, are we not as guilty as the potential bullies?  Are we not doing their work for them, albeit with somewhat purer intentions at heart?

What about if you have an especially emotive son?  One who is quick to anger, quick to upset, quick to cry?  He's beautiful and unique.  He's potential bully fodder.

Or should we simply let them be the so-called 'cry-baby' let them be who they are, free to feel whatever they feel......... yet teach them how to say 'fuck you' with a roundhouse and left hook anyway?

How to we stop this emotional oppression?  Boys aren't just boys, they're people.

Men: they're not all bad.

Before I start this disjointed and spontaneous little rant in my sleep deprived state, I'm not attempting to start a debate on the ins and outs of inequality, feminism and such.  As much as I believe in what I say there is an element of tongue in cheek involved at times. This isn't a political nor social forum of discussion, I don't need educating in definitions and propaganda.

Equality is a term that we see often bandied about or more the notion of inequality.  Now the feminists amongst us will probably start hurling rocks at me, but on a basic level, are we meant to be equal   Are we made to equal each other or to compliment each other?

Is it 'fair' that woman get to experience pregnancy and birth  and men do not?  That the woman get a baby shower?  That she gets maternity leave as opposed to the new 2 week paternity leave? Is it fair that a wedding is considered 'The Brides Special Day?' and often the men just have to fit into her plans?  Is it fair that if a man ogles and wolf whistles at a woman he's a letch yet if a woman and her peers 'check out' a man, it's just a bit of fun?  Is it fair that male strippers are considered raunchy, risque and fun yet a female is merely cheap and slutty?  Upon proposing it's traditional for the man to buy a ring and there is an expectation that it should be expensive, really is that fair?.  Little girls can be Scouts yet boys can't be brownies. Domestic abuse against a woman is considered grave and hideous yet against a man when the woman is the perpetrator it's often unspoken of and ridiculed.  

It works both ways.

The male midwife or beautician who's laughed at by his mates and given a raised eyebrow from his patients.  The SAHD who obviously mustn't be able to find a real job like a real man and be the sole breadwinner to support his family. The man in the office/shop who's 'expected' to do the 'heavy/dirty' work.

Yes we know 'but woman get paid less in the same industries as male counter parts' and it's so hard and unfair being a woman competing against men.

Maybe that is exactly it though.  Maybe we shouldn't be competing.  There is a risk of saying 'we are equal' for it to then become 'and we're better' which is as far from equal as it can get. 

What is wrong with being a woman.  I'm all for woman being whatever they want to be in life, yet why is it that in striving through industry and politics it now becomes almost taboo to want to be a SAHM?  That to want to stay at home with your children or want a mere job instead of a career is somehow a slight on the female population.  That there is something wrong with wanting to look after the house and cook for your husband that it somehow makes you lacking in aspiration, motivation and dynamism.  Likewise what is so wrong with a man wanting to provide for his wife and children?  To want to hold a door open for a woman, to pull a chair out for her or give up his seat or even jacket for her?  Generally males are physiologically built to handle certain tasks easier then their female counterparts, so is it therefore wrong for him to lift and move heavy items and do more DIY? To want to protect a woman?  As happy as I am to 'go dutch' is it now a faux pas for a man wanting to 'take care of the bill'? or open the car door. What about the the page three girl who is more then happy with her chosen career, she enjoys it and gets paid well yet other woman are irate and outraged on her behalf at being so exploited.  Where is the woman's right to choose here? Through trying to not be dictated to by men are woman now dictating to each other on how we ought to be/feel/think? 

The majority of strife within my life has be in fact caused by woman.  In the work place? Opression and bullying from a female boss despite there being many more men in the job.  Problems with Medics?  They were all female.  It wasn't the men in these instances opressing me, bullying  me, belittling me.  It wasn't because I was a woman, it's because they were arses.

It's as if it's wrong to be feminine or masculine.  Are we working towards an androgynous race? Is it terribly wrong to be a man or a woman instead of a person?  

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand and sympathise with the plights of woman in wanting equality.  I do feel, regardless of gender, each person should have the same rights, opportunities and choices.  I do, I really do.  I know that we could take a different take on most examples and turn the tables in favour of men.

Yet sometimes we forget, sometimes men get the rough end of the deal too.  Sometimes in life it's as if they really can't do right for doing wrong and vice versa.  It's not always the blokes fault, maybe we should cut them some slack..... if they're not gentlemen they're chauvinistic pricks, if they are then they're also... chauvinistic pricks.  Yet we, as woman, reserve the right to be mortally offended either way.